🎗️Lonny's War Update- October 297, 2023 - July 29, 2024 🎗️

  

🎗️Day 297 that 115 of our hostages in Hamas captivity
**There is nothing more important than getting them home! NOTHING!**

“I’ve never met them,

But I miss them. 

I’ve never met them,

but I think of them every second. 

I’ve never met them,

but they are my family. 

BRING THEM HOME NOW!!!”

We’re waiting for you, all of you.
A deal is the only way to bring
all the hostages home- the murdered for burial and the living for rehabilitation.

#BringThemHomeNow #TurnTheHorrorIntoHope

There is no victory until all of the hostages are home!

‎אין נצחון עד שכל החטופים בבית

Red Alerts - Missile, Rocket, Drone (UAV - unmanned aerial vehicles), and Terror Attacks and Death Announcements

*5:15am - north - rockets Admit

*1:25pm - north - hostile aircraft - Misgav Am, Kiryat Shemona, Tel Hai, Kfar Giladi, Beit Hillel, Kraf Yuval, Metulla, Manara, Maayan Baruch,
*4:00pm - north- hostile aircraft Dishon

Hostage Updates 

• Israel is “doubtful” that the updated proposal for a hostage release-ceasefire deal with Hamas that Israel relayed to the White House on Saturday will be passed on to the terror group by mediators, according to a senior Israeli official cited by Hebrew media.

  “It is very doubtful that this proposal will pass the mediators. It is doubtful that they will agree to roll the proposal over to Hamas in light of the fundamental change in it,” the senior official is quoted as saying by Channel 12 news.

  The outlet reported yesterday that the proposal demands an inspection mechanism be put in place to ensure Hamas combatants are not able to move to the Strip’s north; sees Israel remaining on the Gaza-Egypt border known as the Philadelphi Corridor during the first phase of the deal; and insists on Israel receiving a list of all living hostages Hamas will release as part of the deal.

  
  Protesters call for the release of hostages held by Hamas in the Gaza Strip since October 7, outside the IDF's Kirya base in Tel Aviv, July 28, 2024. (Avshalom Sassoni/Flash90)

  This morning’s report adds the proposal had been updated on the recommendation of the Biden administration, on the understanding that a clarifying document could push the negotiations forward.

  The Prime Minister’s Office released a statement last night saying that talks around the hostage deal would continue “in the coming days,” after Mossad director David Barnea returned from meetings in Rome with top negotiators from the US, Egypt, and Qatar on the updated proposal earlier in the day. link Our negotiating partners, Egypt and Qatar know that Netanyahu's new demands are recipes for disaster in the negotiations, just as our own team of negotiators know this. If these new demands were taken off the table and we were left with the original proposal that came in Biden's speech and was totally based on Israel's previous proposal, a deal could be made and we would already have seen hostages coming home. But the problem remains that Netanyahu is the one person in the whole mishmash who is and has been preventing a deal from being made because of his own personal political concerns. The hostages are dying and their blood is on Netanyahu
• 
  

Gaza 

•  Israeli fighter jets and drones struck more than 35 targets across the Gaza Strip over the past day, the military says.

  The IDF says the targets include cells of gunmen, buildings used by terror groups, booby-trapped buildings, and other infrastructure.

  The strikes come as troops continue to advance in southern Gaza’s Khan Younis and Rafah.

  The IDF says troops with the 162nd Division killed several gunmen in close-quarters combat and by directing airstrikes in Rafah in the previous 24 hours.

  Many more terror operatives were killed in clashes and airstrikes amid operations by the 98th Division in Khan Younis, the IDF adds.

Northern Israel - Lebanon/Hizbollah/Syria

• The funeral for the 12th boy killed in a Hezbollah rocket strike on a soccer field in the Druze town of Majdal Shams on Saturday is underway, Channel 12 reports.

  Gevara Ebraheem, 11, had been considered missing for some 24 hours following the Saturday afternoon strike in northern Israel that killed 11 other children and teenagers, all of whom had been on a soccer field when the Iranian-made rocket impacted, cutting them down before they could make it to safety.

  

  
  

  Police said last night that new findings at the scene of the strike had confirmed that Ebraheem was also killed, putting an end to his family’s hope that he had fled the scene of the strike and survived, according to Channel 12.

  Funerals were held Sunday for the other 11 victims, 10 of them in Majdal Shams, on the southern slope of Mount Hermon in the Golan Heights, and one in nearby Ein Qiniyye, amid a mix of grief and anger in the devastated Druze community.

  Ziv Medical Center in Safed says that two children who were seriously wounded in a Hezbollah rocket attack on the Druze town of Majdal Shams in the Golan Heights on Saturday are in critical condition in the pediatric intensive care unit. They are sedated and ventilated. Another child is in moderate condition.
  
  

• Lebanese media reports say one person was killed and four were wounded in Israeli airstrikes on a car and a motorcycle in southern Lebanon, between the towns of Mays al-Jabal and Shaqra.

  
  The IDF has not yet commented on the reports.

• 
  

• Israel wants to hurt Hezbollah but not drag the Middle East into all-out war, two Israeli officials say, as Lebanon braces for retaliation after a Hezbollah rocket strike killed 12 children and teens in the Golan Heights on Saturday.

  Two other Israeli officials say Israel is preparing for the possibility of a few days of fighting following Saturday’s rocket strike at a sports field in the northern Druze village of Majdal Shams.

  All four officials, who included a senior defense official and a diplomatic source, speak on condition of anonymity and gave no further information about Israel’s plans for retaliation.

  “The estimation is that the response will not lead to an all-out war,” says the diplomatic source. “That would not be in our interest at this point.”

  Israel and the United States have blamed the Iran-backed Hezbollah terror group for the strike. Hezbollah has denied any role.

• Britain welcomes the Lebanese government’s call for a cessation of all violence after a deadly attack on the Golan Heights, Britain’s foreign minister says following a call with Lebanon’s prime minister.

  The comments come after a rocket fired from Lebanon killed 12 children in the Druze town of Majdal Shams on Saturday evening. Israel has vowed retaliation against the Lebanon-based Hezbollah terror group for the fatal attack.

  “I spoke to (Lebanese) Prime Minister Najib Mikati today to express my concern at escalating tension and welcomed the Government of Lebanon’s statement urging for cessation of all violence,” David Lammy writes on X.

  “We both agreed that widening of conflict in the region is in nobody’s interest.”

  Lebanon has supported Hezbollah’s denial of involvement with the strike and called for an international probe into the incident, though the terror group claimed multiple attacks on Israeli military positions during the day on Sunday. IDF and US intelligence have stated that Hezbollah fired the deadly projectile, though it has not been determined whether the terror group aimed at that target or misfired.  link It's not enough for the Lebanese government to make hollow statements that they can't back up with any political or military strength. Their statements and actions must be directed at Hizbollah and they must remove them as a military and governing body in Lebanon. This is not an easy task and will need the strong financial and military assistance of moderate Arab states but it can and must be done for the stability of the entire region.

• The government currently has no central authority keeping track of the whereabouts of the tens of thousands of residents of the north who have been displaced by the fighting, the official tasked with overseeing the rehabilitation of Israel’s northern communities tells a joint hearing of the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense and State Control Committees.

  “Currently, there is no body in the State of Israel that has information on where the people are,” says Navy Vice Admiral (res.) Eliezer Marom, whose appointment was approved by the government last week.

  Announcing the establishment of a new information center for the displaced, Maron explains that “people move all the time.” Keeping track of their whereabouts is a basic prerequisite for any attempts to return them to their homes or reopen schools.

  “We have an obligation as a state to give them the conditions to return home,” he declares.

  During the special hearing on the protection of the residents of the north, lawmakers and residents slammed the government’s handling of the crisis.

  “There is no routine, it is impossible to live under nonstop fire. There is no time to waste,” says State Control Committee chairman MK Mickey Levy.

  Momi Bar Kalifa of Moshav Manot, a town near the Lebanese border that has not been evacuated, rails at lawmakers and claims that his community had been abandoned.

  “When you come to visit us, the army does not give you permission to move around even with an armored vehicle. But our children? No problem moving there all day,” he yells.

  “We live in terrible hardship, without a livelihood, without camps for children, forced to collect charity to survive. For months we only hear talk, receive visits as if we are a petting zoo, but there are no real solutions. Children are locked up in their homes without the possibility of summer camps. We came to hear practical and immediate solutions and no more empty promises.”   link Who would have thought that any government body had a database of the evacuees? The government has shown that it is dysfunctional since the first day of the war and little has chanced since.

West Bank and Jerusalem

•     

Politics and the War (general news)

•  My brother's post: Following his major failures, Netanyahu has fallen to a low point in his support among our people. He remains with his base which was getting smaller and smaller and despite this, the opposition has not able to topple him and bring us to new elections. Yes, our political system distorts democracy - this may explain how we got to this point with the most extreme government the State of Israel has ever known, but it does not explain why Gantz, Lapid, Eisenkot, or any other Israeli "leader" does not rise up with massive public support. In my opinion, the reason lies in this: these so-called leaders are still running the "Bibi yes or Bibi no" campaign. Too many rounds of the elections were conducted around this empty question. No prominent Israeli political leader presents to our people any kind of vision, any horizon, any reason for us to mobilize and support their candidacy. As Bibi once said: they are boring. There is no reason to support them. We are tired of the old empty slogans that are void of any real content. Although our poeple seems to be moving to the right following October 7th, at the same time many more Israelis know today that without a political solution, there is continued danger of October 7th happening on other fronts. Only a political solution can bring us to start moving towards the safe haven of true security that we thought was here in the era of to so-called "conflict management". If a new type of leadership will arise that will show the way to a political solution, and will be believable and have integrity and tone down the bombastic militaristic threats and speak "vision"  - maybe it will finally be possible to remove Bibism from our lives. (Gershon Baskin, July 29, 2024)
  
  

• National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir and other members of his far-right Otzma Yehudit party announce that they are on their way to the Sde Teiman detention facility in southern Israel to protest the detention of IDF soldiers suspected of mistreating prisoners.

  “Ministers and members of Knesset from the Otzma Yehudit faction are now making their way to Sde Teiman, with a demand to stop the disgraceful arrest of IDF soldiers there,” the party says in a statement.

  A heated argument erupted between soldiers at the controversial facility after Military Police investigators arrived to detain suspects for questioning.  link During the first Intifada, I was in the Military Police and served in prison camps for Palestinian prisoners arrested and sentenced for all kinds of offenses from throwing stones up to and including murder of Israeli. It was the job of the Military police to be the front line between the prisoners and the soldiers guarding the camp inside and out. We had the direct contact with the prisoners as well as their families when there were visits. It was my belief then and it is my belief still, that once we have them in prison, it is upon us to treat them with a certain level of decency and it is not upon us to abuse them. There are both domestic and international laws governing the way these prisoners are to be treated. We know that Hamas does not regard any laws governing the treatment of our hostages but that doesn't and shouldn't have impact on how we, as a sovereign law abiding nation treats our prisoners. As Dostoevsky said, “A society should be judged not by how it treats its outstanding citizens but by how it treats its criminals.”
  Ben Gvir and many of the members of his party are criminals with arrests and convictions for terrorist activities and they are certainly not the people our society should be looking towards for how we treat our prisoners and never should have had any connection to maintaining laws in this country.

• National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir releases a video appeal to IDF Military Advocate General Maj. Gen. Yifat Tomer-Yerushalmi “to take her hands off the reservists.”

  “As in the Israel Prison Service so in the IDF. Our fighters deserve full backing,” he says.

  Ben Gvir’s statement comes as far-right lawmakers and activists break into the IDF’s Sde Teiman base after nine soldiers were taken from there earlier today for questioning for allegedly abusing a Palestinian detainee.

  Among those who broke into the base, which serves as a detention facility, is MK Zvi Succot of Ben Gvir’s ultranationalist Otzma Yehudit party.  link Of course, Ben Gvir and his ilk demand that the law should not apply here as he and his followers do not have any respect for the law when it is used properly against Jews.

  
  
  Opposition Leader Yair Lapid condemns lawmakers who broke into the IDF’s Sde Teiman base alongside far-right activists after nine soldiers were taken from there earlier today for questioning for allegedly abusing a Palestinian detainee.

  Their actions constitute “despicable and dangerous criminality” that only serves to “weaken” the IDF and state and “eats away at the foundations of our power from within.”

  “The politicians who abandoned the hostages, abandoned security and destroyed Israeli society are now destroying the chain of command. The country is in existential danger if these people do not leave power,” he declares.

The Region and the World

• Assessment: Britain to Announce Suspension of Security Exports to Israel Within Days

The Labour government, which in its response did not rule out the move, has already announced it will resume funding UNRWA, and withdrew objections aimed at preventing arrest warrants against Netanyahu. In Israel, it is estimated that the decision, which joins "quiet boycotts" by other countries, is related to the International Court of Justice in The Hague's call to stop aid to Israel. The concern - this is only the first swallow

Israel estimates today (Monday) that Britain will announce within a few days the suspension of security export licenses to Israel. The new Labour government has already announced in recent days that it will resume funding UNRWA, and also withdrew objections aimed at preventing the issuance of arrest warrants by the International Criminal Court in The Hague against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Yoav Gallant.

Britain is a significant country in terms of security exports to Israel, and the fear in Jerusalem is that this is just the first swallow - and other countries will follow suit. The British have been examining the issue of arms export licenses for a long time. However, now, with the change of government, the assessment in Israel is that the die has been cast, and that the decision on the issue is also related to the decision of the International Court of Justice in The Hague (ICJ), which called on countries not to assist Israel.

A British government spokesperson said in response that "a review of Israel's compliance with international humanitarian law is ongoing." British Foreign Secretary David Lammy said regarding this: "Our commitment to international law is clear, and we are following the necessary processes. Immediately upon taking office, I instructed officials to conduct a comprehensive review of Israel's compliance with international humanitarian law, and this process is now underway. I will update again after the process is completed."

The expected British decision joins the "quiet boycotts" and less official ones by Western European countries in recent months, which have stopped or delayed shipments of raw materials and parts to defense industries in Israel that produce weapons for the IDF. The "quiet boycott" coming from manufacturers in countries like France is leading the defense establishment to look for alternatives in Eastern European countries, South America, and Asia.

As mentioned, last Friday Britain decided to withdraw its objection to the International Criminal Court's decision to issue arrest warrants against the Prime Minister and Defense Minister. A senior political source sharply criticized the move, saying: "Israel is deeply disappointed by the British move. It is a fundamentally wrong decision, it is contrary to justice and truth and harms the right of all democracies to fight terrorism."
In May, the chief prosecutor in The Hague, Karim Khan, requested to issue arrest warrants against Netanyahu, Gallant, and three Hamas leaders - Yahya Sinwar, Mohammed Deif, and Ismail Haniyeh. The previous government in Britain, led by Rishi Sunak and the Conservatives, took a step that was received with great sympathy in the Israeli leadership, when it submitted to the court an objection aimed at the prosecutor's request to issue arrest warrants for Netanyahu and Gallant.

Since the submission of the objection in June, a political upheaval has taken place in Britain - Sunak's Conservative government was defeated in elections, and the left-wing Labour Party returned to power. Recently, it was reported that due to the change of government, a policy change is expected from London regarding Israel and the management of the war in Gaza. A spokesperson for British Prime Minister Keir Starmer confirmed the withdrawal of objections to issuing arrest warrants, adding that this is an independent decision of the court. link

Personal Stories

  It took time, and I realized how not easy it is to be the wife of a post-traumatic. Suddenly I'm alone"

They sent to war the young  man they fell in love with, a life partner, the father of their children, and received back someone completely different. Now the women who are dealing with the post-trauma of their partners are breaking the bond of silence: A. feels she has another child at home, Angela is most afraid when the night falls again, and B., who just gave birth to a baby girl in all this mess, is waiting for the state to hear them as well - and give them a hand

A young and strong man leaves home to go to war, healthy and intact, leaves his wife, children, leaves behind all the familiar life - work, their apartment, walks on Shabbat, shared holidays. And then he comes back, but differently. Not wounded in the body, but in the heart. Suddenly the concept of post-trauma settles in the new apartment you bought or the new family you started and sometimes it is here to stay. The victim is not only the reservist himself, the wife, the children, the second and third circles are also victims.

According to NATAL (Victims of National Trauma) association, which specializes in mental health care in the wake of terrorism and fighting, since October 7, the help lines have received over 45,000 calls. According to Irit Aloni, director of NATAL's clinical department, about 20 A percentage of them are wives of fighters who returned in a different state of mind than when they left home. From stress, through depression, anxiety to post-trauma.

How do they sound in conversations?

"Bad. Crying, pain, a lot of 'I can't handle it anymore'. Because everything is falling on her, and also because it's a challenge she doesn't know. Someone else came home. The depression, the anger, the challenge in front of the children. Someone said in pain: 'The child doesn't recognize the father, who is in a place of avoidance. It's no wonder that a stranger won't understand him. They don't understand the outbursts of anger "He was my best friend and today he doesn't share." It impacts the children, the couples, the family economics. Everything falls on the spouse. The anxiety doesn't end because he is still receiving a call back notice to reserve duty.

There are no magic solutions, there is no switch that is pressed, and everything goes back to the way it used to be, before the war. Some women will turn to personal psychological therapy, others to a couples therapist, and there are even apps (such as "Dogari", developed by the psychologist Yotam Dagan) that can help. Each one and what helps her. And in the meantime? The daily struggle is theirs, and it is a struggle that is heard much less about in the media, even though it has probably reached thousands of homes since October 7th.

This week, three brave women agreed to share what has been happening within the walls of their homes since their spouses returned from that war. It's time we listen to what they have to say; And it is definitely time for the state to lend them a hand.

"He lives in a separate world, aged in an instant"

E., 32, and her husband L., 37, married for eight years, parents of two children (7, 5). Live in a settlement in the south of the country

"We are a normal couple, my husband works in the field of education, I'm on my way to becoming a lawyer. Our daughter started first grade this year, the youngest in kindergarten. We just bought a house, which we haven't received yet because of the war. A normal routine for an Israeli couple at the beginning of life. On October 7, we were On a family vacation in Rhodes. My husband's sister called, "Get to the news," and that's how, without any preparation, we got the videos of the white jeeps on the horizon. The flight back was horrible. My husband and brothers were staring at the window of the plane that something bad is going to happen. When we landed, the way he opened the mobile, the messages started popping up, and the commanding officer also called: 'Come as soon as possible'.

In the first months his battalion was in the Gaza envelopment. It was a difficult time. The soldiers slept next to dead bodies, his friends were injured, but what affected him the most happened in December. They had to go to a UNRWA school. The operation did not go as planned, to say the least, and soldiers, his friends, were killed there. That was the breaking point and from there, I think, everything started to deteriorate.

I began to notice that my husband could not fall asleep. When he fell asleep he would wake up at regular hours, which were the hours of the guards in Gaza. In his nightmares he saw the operation. How to tell them to go, then the friends and the bodies. Before the reserve he did not dream at all, nor did he remember dreams. Suddenly, every piece of information related to the friends became a hard trigger: to read a piece that one of them had written; read things the families wrote; see pictures Everything turned into something that could provoke extreme crying. He sat for days and thought disturbing thoughts. He has, for example, a new custom: reading the names of the newly killed. He looks at how old they are, if they have children. which is not typical of him, because news was the last thing that interested him.

I'm afraid of him. Because sometimes he is very down, he is diagnosed with depression and also post-traumatic. he is sad He has no goal, no joy in life, he was a visionary, it is important to him to do things, to come up with ideas, and now he is not like that.

By and large he is at home, but not really there. He did not return to work, because it is difficult for him. It's hard for him to be in the company of people, it's hard for him to talk a lot, he's jumpy, nervous, restless. Live in a separate world. He aged in an instant. Before the war he looked 20 years old under pressure, and suddenly he gives off an old age, very heavy. Every small action requires hysterical effort. leave the house, go, meet, hang out. Before that we used to host friends and relatives on Shabbat, today it doesn't happen. The 'togetherness' is heavy on him, it requires a lot of energy from him, which he doesn't have. Because meetings invite conversations, and he has no power to speak or explain. It's mostly hard for me to see him rot. This is the hardest part.

He was always a happy father, did a lot with the children. I would leave early in the morning and come back late, and he was the one who brings them to the frames, brings them back and amuses them. Today he does everything in a very limited way. He has no patience. He gets upset over little things. A noise bothers him. Sometimes he lashes out at them, even expects them to understand, but it doesn't work that way with children. In situations like this, I actually calm him down, telling him 'go relax in the room'. Sometimes when it's hard, I say: 'Tell them today is hard', and then they hug him. They understand, the little ones. Sometimes they ask cute questions, like: 'Why are you having a hard time today?' 'Dad, has something happened to you?' It's very important to them that he be okay, and I don't want them to feel guilty, because that's what happens when there's anger. He explained to them that he was in the war, and now he is a little injured. that he has a wound from the operation, and a heart wound.

This week the contractor sent me some things that I needed to choose for the new house, such as doors, before they start assembling. Until the war, we chose things together, as quality time as a couple: flooring, sanitary ware, kitchen cabinets. It was very exciting. It's like marking a 'V' for more progress in life. Now I tried to interest my husband, and he said: 'It doesn't matter, do what you want.' It made me feel bad.

No day looks the same to us as the day before. There is no legality. I don't know how he will sleep at night or wake up in the morning, if he will have a positive, bad mood, thoughts. Before the incident we were thinking about another child, today I am uncertain. I don't know if the mental state will allow - in the end a child requires a lot of resources and energy - and he will also become a kind of child. The angry, restless, therapeutic child.

To be clear: I am very glad that I have a husband, because it could just as well have been him who was killed and not one of his friends. We are always happy that the husband is at home. But I'm currently trying not to think about the future, because it can be very frustrating. Trying not to develop expectations. Instead of saying: 'It's a process, it will get better, but it will take time before it happens.' Because if I think 'when', it will be very difficult for me.

There are places where I can let off some steam. We, the spouses of the company members, have a group, which is a good place to share experiences. And there I am in good company. There are ten more like him, some of them in a worse condition than him. Friends who didn't get out of bed, and those who still don't. Guys who feel guilty for being alive. People on the brink of divorce. There are guys who lose their temper at home in a severe way, unable to go to therapy. I feel like I've made friends.

 

But then we return home. Usually the end of the day is difficult for me. Everything drains for the moment when the children go to bed and I tidy up the house, and suddenly it hits me: how alone I am. How much I'm a bit like a kindergarten teacher, less like a partner. Not like before, when I could sit with my partner and he would listen and give advice and legitimize what I was saying. Today I feel that my difficulties are less legitimate next to him. There is something canceling about being with a person that is their state of mind, and in the end you only see their difficulties. We became very close emotionally with him, but it doesn't work both ways. I don't get treated for my difficulty. And I don't blame him, because he has no ability to contain things. On the other hand, that doesn't make it any less painful. I would like the relationship to be more mutual, as I try to contain the difficulties. Sometimes I look at him and shout: 'I want you to get your head out of your butt!' Then I realize it's out of his control. But venting frustration is always important. At least you know you said what you feel."

"How do you fight to keep it all together?"

Angela Bateman, 42, director of a post-hospital boarding school for children and youth at risk in Beer Sheva. Married to Guy, 42, a policeman serving at the Rahat station. The two are parents of three daughters (16.5, 12.5, and 3). Live in Moshav Sde Zvi

"On October 6, Guy went out to secure the Nova party. From the beginning, this whole party was conducted with an unclear sign, he was informed several times that it was canceled, and something did not sit well with me. On Friday, it was the eve of a holiday, we left the house while he was dressed in uniform, we drove to my parents in Netivot and returned In two vehicles. Then it turned out that he forgot his work shoes at the gate. He flashed me with the lights. And that's where my previous life ends.

 

Guy's shift was supposed to be until seven in the morning, but when the alarms started it was clear to me that he would stay. In retrospect I learned from several people that Guy had shown extraordinary bravery. He helped and assisted the people in the evacuation, while attacking the terrorists, shouted to everyone to take shelter, helped the wounded, and when he realized that some people were running towards Gaza, he shouted to them: 'Run towards the sun!' And together with several other policemen he led them on foot towards Moshav Fetish, and also returned several times to make sure there were no more people. During the walk, Guy helped people who fainted, watering them with water. When he saw a reserve man got into the car with him, and they did a few more rescue missions. In total, I was told, he and his friends saved about 500 people. From there, Guy arrived at the Ofakim station and saw all the bodies of his friends.

So we spoke for the first time since that day. I felt an aggressive, disorganized error. Because I come from the world of therapy, I asked him, I tried to understand how dissociative he is. I asked him: 'What's going on? Where are you going now?' And he answered: 'For work'. When I told him: 'You must breathe', he shouted at me: 'There is nothing else, we are fighting.' In a few seconds I realized that I was not his nanny, and had to let go. From Ofekim he went to Rahat, where he realized that other policemen from the station, including the commander, had been killed. In response, he went to bring ammunition from Be'er Sheva.

Guy is a man-man, strong, who never complained, I never saw a tear come out of his eye, a man of values ​​who is very attached to the police, he always said: 'I am there to serve the public'. He has always been a support for me, when he is found he instills confidence, gives calmness. A family man who loves to host, loves friends. Two of them, very good friends of Guy, were murdered: the late Malik Karim, an investigator at the Be'er Sheva station, and the late Andrey Pushibai, a patrol officer at the Eirat station.

So it turned out that the first time I saw him was on Tuesday, and it was no longer the same guy. He was off, even the color of his face was different. I felt he was aggressive, aggressive. I sat next to him and kept silent. At the initial stage he was weak, glued to the television, told over and over what was there. He hugged me all the time, but there was something very aggressive there. That week he returned to work. He wasn't ready to hear that he wasn't coming back, for him the policemen who were killed were the real heroes and he was left with survivor's guilt. He blames himself, thinks how much more he could have saved.

We understood that he is post-traumatic from the incident. It took time, and I realized how difficult it is to be the wife of a post-traumatic. The whole family's schedule revolves around him. I am very inclusive, but mostly I feel lonely. I feel that everything falls on me. All these years we made decisions together, and suddenly I am alone. For the first month and a half I was unable to work, and as a result we realized that I would not be able to continue running the boarding school but I will have to work at the headquarters, to be more with the family. It was a difficult feeling. Managing the boarding school was my life's job, but I realized that the family needed me, and the proportions in life changed.

 

The fact that I come from the world of therapy makes it more difficult, because when I look at him I already see his defense mechanism. I'm operating on him and it's not good to operate on your husband. On the other hand, I know that not every post-trauma will develop into battle shock, and I try to stop the process.

He keeps repeating the phrase 'I want rest', but he has no rest. He can go to bed at three in the morning, and get up for work at six. When I ask him not to take paid jobs, he claims it's financial, and I say it's an escape from dealing with life. But know that he should feel significant. Many times, even in front of him, I say: 'Nothing will ever go back to what it was', and then I regret saying that. Because he gets treatment, even encourages others to go, and really tries to pick himself up again. But I myself find it difficult to contain the situation.

My anxieties increase as darkness falls: how much worse could the situation get this time? Will a situation or a memory catch him at work and he might, God forbid, become confused? I'm anxious to get a call about him, lest something happen to him. So all the time: 'Send me a message that everything is fine', and also towards the girls. If someone doesn't answer, it's the end of the world.

At Guy's first meeting with the girls, he didn't allow them to hug him too much. A baby's cry has never thrown him off balance, and suddenly, when the little one cries, he has involuntary movements in his body. Or one day she stepped on a chair and tripped, as a child - not a serious incident, all parents know it - and he just jumped to catch her. It was very extreme, something that had never happened before. The big ones are having a hard time dealing with the situation. Avoid getting into arguments, because he is cutting and assertive.

And in general, Guy has become short, impatient, and finds it difficult to contain complex situations. A few weeks ago, there was a commemorative party for Nova in Yarakon Park. I thought maybe it would do him some good, to see that people he saved continue to live. We came with the big one. But it fell apart. And the girl said: 'It was hard for me to see it. Father was a man who went to the movement's summer camp, he was a parent who cooks, all the companies are obsessed with father, the tattoos, and suddenly he is finished and broken.' I'm afraid to imagine how it will affect them in the future, on all of us. I keep thinking: how do we fight to keep all this together, the family, Guy and I, despite everything?"

 

"On October 7, I was caught in the fifth month of my first pregnancy. My husband's regiment was sent to the Jenin sector. He would come home every now and then for after-hours. On Hanukkah, I received a call from the hospital that terrorists had shot at their position, and my husband was wounded and evacuated. He was hit in the market area, and spent two months in rehabilitation , and since then he has been in rehabilitation. One day the Rabbi called to ask how we are doing and how we are getting along, it is such a procedure, and I replied: 'I feel that he is in a bubble, in denial.' The accountant replied that he recommends seeing a psychologist, so that he starts digesting immediately. And indeed, within two weeks my husband saw a psychologist, who recommended seeing a psychiatrist.

 

My husband has a guy that everyone would want one of those at home. He was indifferent and I was nervous, and he would always calm me down and fix any problem that arose. He is very there, very functional. We used to go out a lot with friends and family, a sociable guy, doesn't get angry about anything. Now everything annoys him. Really not indifferent. Every time we have to leave the house, he examines the area 360 degrees. Inspects vehicles, peeks to see what's in them. Every noise makes him jump, at night he shouts in his sleep, moves as if he is at war. When I asked, he said it was out of his control. It's hard for him to go out with friends. On Independence Day I asked that we go to the city to walk around and we quickly returned home. He can't, because of all the people.

One of the hardest parts for me was pregnancy and childbirth. First pregnancy, excitement. But in the end I went to all the tests alone, and everyone in the waiting room in pairs. When he was injured I was at the end of the eighth month. At a time like this, you want to be pampered and asked how you are. Instead, everyone asked what happened to him. The funniest thing was that when we got to the delivery room he came with crutches, and they sent us to orthopedics, because they thought we came for him.

After the birth I was indeed tired, but I loved the guests who came to the hospital. This stressed him and he sent everyone home. I wanted my mother to be there, but he determined what was done, who would be there, who wouldn't be. I felt he was taking my place.

 

When I got pregnant, from our acquaintance, I expected him to be a contained, calm father. Right now, when the baby cries too much he seems to get frustrated. I do see him trying. Trying to calm her down, giving her a bottle, he tries, but not the way I imagined. The girl is very small, so at the moment she is not disadvantaged. But the future is a bit scary. For example, she will go to kindergarten and everyone will say 'Daddy takes me here or there', and my husband will not be able to go to the park with her and be around many people.

I don't share about the situation, because he is ashamed of it. I don't think you should be ashamed, but I respect, and it's very burdensome. My dream is to share with those around us, friends, co-workers, so that they understand the situation I am in. All the people talk about the fact that they go to work bored, I actually feel that for me she is like air to breathe. When you are not at home, then not too many.

I mainly draw encouragement from a group called 'Iron Friends': we are 160 girls whose spouses were injured in the reserves. Talking about the difficulties, each one gives tips to the others. Some, like me, experience post-trauma of the husband. The tip I adopted is to let go. Don't fight the crying or the hard feelings. Even if I get frustrated, not to be angry with myself. For example, the environment says, 'at least he was injured, you can be calm because he won't be killed, God forbid', but they don't understand that I welcomed home a new husband. Other. This is something that is not talked about enough. You feel like you can't whine, because your husband came home and 'what do you want', when in reality, I need help. Because he didn't return to functioning the way he was. I want them to help me, to ask how I am. My husband came back, as if everything is fine, and they don't check what's wrong with me.

Right now I have taken on a lot. I am both the mother at home, the father, the man who lifts heavy things, repairs, and the wife. These are a lot of roles you are taking on, and I know I won't be able to handle it in the long run. My hope is that society and the state will recognize that post-trauma changes our lives as well. LINK

Acronyms and Glossary

COGAT - Coordination of Government Activities in the Territories

ICC - International Criminal Court in the Hague

IJC - International Court of Justice in the Hague

MDA - Magen David Adom - Israel Ambulance Corp

PA - Palestinian Authority - President Mahmud Abbas, aka Abu Mazen

PMO- Prime Minister's Office

UAV - Unmanned Aerial vehicle, Drone. Could be used for surveillance and reconnaissance, or be weaponized with missiles or contain explosives for 'suicide' explosion mission

Join my Whatsapp update group https://chat.whatsapp.com/IQ3OtwE6ydxBeBAxWNziB0 
Twitter - @LonnyB58